A step-by-step guide to shooting relaxed, unposed-like couple shots - Part II
People want to look good in their photos, but they tell you they won’t pose for it or they won’t be directed. Sounds familiar? It does to me … weekly …
At the end of my first article, we arrived at a point where the couple is more relaxed and no longer constantly looking into the lens of your camera. Although this is already a major step forward, there are still some points to improve upon.
Since we are aiming for relaxed & unposed-like shots we need our couple to interact with each other without us constantly telling them what to do. There are lot’s of ways to accomplish this and there is no one perfect solution. It depends a lot on the couples personality, so it’s important to find out ASAP what makes them tick. Are they a couple that likes to tease each other ? Are they the quiet, intimate type ? How can we find out ?
Most of the time I don’t know the couples I’ll be shooting, I’ve only met them once before so I still need to find out who they are. I spend the first 15 minutes or so experimenting. I ask a lot of questions about their life, their job, how they met each other, how the guy proposed to his fiance etc. By simply listening you will know very fast what type of couple they are and you adapt your “work flow” using the intel you received from them.
Let’s say they are a very open, relaxed & playful couple. Since they are so playful getting the fun shots is as easy as combing a bald guys hair. It’s just who they are ! If they are a more quiet couple, a bit introvert even, than getting the really relaxed fun shots will be the harder part.
Always remember that you are in control, you are the one that sets the mood of the shoot. If you act hyperactive & are cracking jokes all the time than that will be the mood of the moment. If you act gentle, caring, talk with a relaxed, sweet voice, than that will help set the mood. Try to get them to remember a romantic moment they had together, get them to relive the moment. Ask them how they first met, their first date, their first kiss, …
Don’t try to take a fun shot at the exact same spot where you just tried to shoot an intimate moment. Switch locations first. Even if it’s only 3 steps to the left or to the right. A new location helps reset their mindset and makes it easier for you to project the mood you want. Look for a scene (a cool wall, a doorway, a bench, a bridge, a chair, etc) and decide what type of shot you want. Then get them in the right mood and press the shutter. Don’t be afraid to take too many shots, since it’s unposed you have to take multiple shots of the same “pose” in order to get the exact one you want. Just shoot & select later.
When you walk from one location to another you should already by projecting the emotions that you want in the shot. In order to do this you can ask them questions (if they are the talkative type) or you can tell stories from your past, or describe a movie scene you watched last week, etc.
Always remember the magic word : Imagine
When you tell a couple for example : “I saw this movie last week where *insert very romantic movie moment here*. Just imagine that happening to you !”
He, she or both of them will try and imagine that moment !
Not convinced ? If I tell you “Last week when I was snowboarding I wore a pair of lederhosen”. Did you try and imagine me wearing those funky leather shorts ?
What when I tell you “Imagine me wearing a pair of lederhosen” ? Which of those 2 sentences made you imagine me in lederhosen ? (for your mental state of mind I hope non of the above 
).
It’s not easy to try and explain this in written text but I hope this article gave you few new tricks to add to your toolkit.
Do you want some examples ? Ok, that can be arranged 
To make it more helpful to you guys, I’m going to need your help. Sketch me a situation in the comments in which you are struggling (it can be from a past experience or just an imaginative situation) and I’ll try and tell you what I would do & why, in part III of this article series.
Bring it on !
Pieter Van Impe
I’ll take you upon your challenge :), this is the scenario…
Older couple, early forties, not very romantic, doesn’t like the fun ‘happy’ type of shots and getting them to even smile is a trial in itself. They are very strong minded and any type of instruction from me gets ignored. I’ve known them for a while and have rapport.
I asked them to remember their first date, the moment when they fell in love, they told me that they had known each other for ages, so I asked them about the time they realised they were in love, they dismissed that moment as well.I asked about the best time they had together, asked them to tell me about a good film they had seen recently and asked them if they would like to re-create a scene from that, it was a gangster film and I suggested that they he could ‘rescue’ her or the other way around. Didn’t happen, didn’t want to.
So I decided to do some traditional stuff. Getting them to smile was really hard, I made jokes, they laughed (I got them laughing on film) but no smiles afterwards, I asked them to think of the funniest thing they had ever heard… nothing, just stares and a fake smile… all teeth, no eyes.
It was a hard one, and afterwards they moaned about how they weren’t smiling properly in the pics.
I tried every trick in my book to get them to smile… nothing.
Good luck!
Ow a little assignment. I’ll make mine count. I’ve been asked to take pictures of a girl and her best friend .. also a girl. Those will be taken in a city environment. No they are not a couple just best friends, from the one time I met them, they are not the shopping kind but they are the giggling kind. One is rather introver the other one is the funmaker so i’ll have to rely on the second one (and myself) to set the mood and make them feel relaxed.
I’ve been cracking my head about how to pose them , how to keep them bussy … I can’t go the romantic route and I can’t do the “2 girls” poses i’d very much like them to do for me
Curious what your approach would be
Ha Peter,
Great article. I think the only problem I have is dealing with people that truly hate having their picture taken and getting them to trust me to make them look good. I had one couple where the bride to be found something wrong with every picture even when both the groom and myself were praising her about how gorgeous she was. I tried showing her the camera as we went, but that didn’t seem to work at all. How do you handle situations like that?
Here’s one…
The couple are complete opposites in what they want out of photos. She likes the posed, fashion style of photos and is more outgoing. He likes a relaxed, candid feel but is shy and not reacting much to allow for good candids. How do you balance the two personalities?
Unless I get lucky and find a couple who are naturals I usually have a combination of the problems mentioned above. However a particularly bad case was a couple who disagreed on having their pictures taken in the first place. The girl was wanting engagement photos and the guy immediatly hated me for having a camera. They argued and fought more than paying attention to me. The two hour session ended up being four as it took 10 minutes to convince the guy to cooperate. How do you deal with a situation like that?
L.I.M.E. = Lederhosen Images Mar Engagement!
just kidding!
Don’t you just love shooting those kind of couples? The ones that tell you they don’t like posed pictures. Yet they are hardly the most relaxed people, totally frigid in front of a camera. Couples from hell. God love em.
Pieter,
Ha! Looks like you’ll be scratching your head with some of the posts above.. but we know you’ll manage to work them out.
I just want to share a photographer who went to the rural area for a paid assignment. People there are very shy and uncomfortable with foreigners.
What he did was to spend his first 2 days going around without his camera. He talked to the locals, tried to understand their lives while taking note of key points to shoot later.
He only took out his camera on the 3rd day, shot for 2 hours. He got his shots and said goodbye to his new friends.
I can say that I am a little bit terrified of a wedding I have coming up in June. The future couple are both
introverts and they have no imagination and seem to have a hard time smiling
(I did their engangment shoot in the fall… glad I did, I now know what challenges I have ahead of me).
Thanks for these great articles! I am not sure how lederhosen will go on a wedding
day, but you never know till you try (thats if they know what that is :D)!
Hi! I read this article before my shoot last sunday and also watched one of your engagement shoot where u didnt use a strobe and just a california bounce on an overcast day. It really inspired me.
On location it was overcast at 8 am and just used my instict and applied your technique and it worked well. I had with me my strobes but I couldt set it up as I was shooting a family with a baby. This was my first paid shoot and hopefully I could learn and book more.
Thanks for this site and more power!
Jun
Shoot the lime …..
Ladies Inspiration, Men Ego
;o)
CW
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Great article! Very interesting to see this from someone else’s point of view.
It really gives me new ideas for situations like these.
Great article, very insightful. I would’ve suggested playing bartender for a bit to get them to loosen up. haha
Thanks for both articles. I mostly take portraits of single persons or groups, but it’s definitely helpful and can be adapted to every portrait shooting. An who knows, maybe I’m going to shoot a couple in the next few weeks?!
Thanks anyways
thanks for the tips…this can be useful…usually I have the attitude to just get into conversations until they’re totally relaxed with me and photos start to come…we both have broken the limit of a camera between us, so the photos will be more true than ever. this takes time, of course, but usually it works if you can/want to dedicate on the project.