A step-by-step guide to shooting relaxed, unposed-like couple shots - Part I
People want to look good in their photos, but they tell you they won’t pose for it or they won’t be directed. Sounds familiar? It does to me … weekly …
When I meet with potential clients one of the things I hear a lot is that they are not willing to pose for a shot, they want it all very natural and spontaneous and they don’t want to be told how to stand & what to do. What do you think, is that possible? No?
Think again!
As a photographer you are in the perfect spot to get people to do whatever you want them to do, the key here is delivery. When working with professional models you can simply tell them what to do, and because they are pro’s it will still look very natural. Not so when working with couples … They will freeze up and you get very posed, unnatural, uptight looking shots.
How can you solve that ? Well, let’s find out what makes for a truly natural, spontaneous, romantic image.
First of all and withouth a doubt the most important element: the couple is relaxed.
When a couple takes place in front of your camera, they feel a bit awkward, silly maybe, don’t really know what to do or what you expect from them.
This is where your charming, funny, communicative personality comes into play! Make them laugh by either telling a joke or acting silly. If you act a little crazy they will feel less silly and thus more at ease.
On a sidenote : watch out which jokes you tell, they might not have the same sense of humour as you do. Making a joke about yourself though works almost every time and it tells them you are a relaxed, down-to-earth person.
Earlier this year I was working with a couple and I wanted her to sit on his lap with her legs in a certain direction. I walked up to them and asked the guy to take a seat, then explained my idea and added “but I’m not gonna show it to you since that might hurt a bit”. Take into account I weigh a bit more than might be healthy in combination with the mental picture of me sitting on the guys’ lap and you have instant laughter. The mood was set, they felt more at ease & acted more relaxed.
Time for step 2 : Make sure they look more at each other than at you.
Face it, we have been taught from when we where a baby to look into the lens of the camera. Look at the birdie this, look at the birdie that. Forget the birdie! Having them look into the lens = posed, and that’s what we are trying to avoid here.
So how would you handle that ?
Simple, just have them tell you what looks best. Ask them what looks more natural & unposed to them : a shot where they look at each other or a shot where they look straight at your camera. They will tell you, obviously, that it’s the one where they look at each other. Bingo ! They get the point and you are one step closer to a very relaxed, natural portrait.
(if they keep looking at me I always ask them who they would rather look at, me or the person they love and want to spend the rest of their life with : unless they are having a fight, this always does the trick 
)
So where are we ? The couple is now relaxed & no longer constantly looking into your lens. We are getting pretty close are we ?
What else do we want ? Well, I would want them to interact with each other so that it looks like a very natural, spontaneous, sweet moment in time that captured their love for each other. How you do this depends a bit on the couple and it would make this article a little bit too long, so I’ll talk about this in a next article.
Next time you are shooting a couple give it a try, see what works for you and let me know how it went !
Pieter Van Impe
thx for the article. I try and get the passion going , get her to bite his ear, him to bite her neck. always good for laughter and spontaneous pictures. problem is getting them to stop
All very good advice. Self-deprecating jokes are indeed a great way of breaking the ice. And what newly-weds can resist the immortal “just look in to each other’s eyes”, and then “what about a little kiss?” He he.
Great work on all the Lime stuff too!
Great advice! I will keep this in mind
@Tom getting them to stop & switch moods (from crazy to in love etc) is actually pretty simple. I’ll make sure I talk about it in my next article
@Martin Thanks !
Great article Pieter! I will keep this in mind when I’m next shooting. One thing that I also find works for non professional models is simply giving them a context, or an idea of the shot you want to make, and then asking them to simply play with their pose in any way they see fit. You also get very relaxed, natural shots this way. Do you ever use this method? (Of course, this only works if they’re already at ease with you… and your self-deprecation method seems a great way to go!)
Very nice article! The advice you give is priceless!
MORE MORE MORE. Can’t wait for the workshop!
Thanks for the article Pieter! This really made my day… I’ve only had the chance to shoot 4 couples so far, and 2 of them went well enough for me to be happy.. The hard part is always making it look natural and I’m sure that because of your tips, I’ll be able to up the percentage. Thanks!
A little humor goes a long way when dealing with couples. I find that there is a “sweet spot” when doing engagement sessions when the couple will stop concentrating on you, and more on each other. I often think that pretending to take shots for the first 15 minutes would result in better frames, and less edits after the fact.
@Dylan true, that works with some couples but most of the time they are to self-conscious (or how do you write that :p ) to “act” or “play a role”. I’ll make sure to expand a bit on that in my next article, thanks !
@Michael indeed, the first 15 minutes usually result in only 1 or 2 descent shots, and once they get in the mood you can get a good shot every single time
My question is this:
The girl is always excited to get her picture taken with her husband (boyfriend, etc…) but the husband
(or guy) is not alway excited about it. This idea will help. But what helps get a guy excited about getting his
picture taken? Or am I just unlucky to get a whole bunch of men who really hate photoshoots?
I’m usually a very chatty person but when I get behind the camera I get caught up with what I “see” and forget to talk! As soon as I start talking I forget about camera settings and composition! It obviously takes a bit of practice!
another littletrick i found that helps is to show them a really good shoot and when the energy level goes down. Show them anotherand add a comment like “WOW! you guys make a really good looking couple.” and Viola!!!! back in the game. for another few shots and they smile more and get more relaxed.
Usefull tip, Pieter!
Looking forward to your next articles about ‘posing’ your couples.
@Kris no, you sure aren’t the only one that get’s these kind of guys
But over the years I found some ways to get them into it, as a hint : sex always does the trick 
I’ll tell you more in the next article but as a hint I’m pretty sure most couples go straight home, and they won’t be watching television 
@Gabby indeed, it takes a while to get used to mixing it up “live” as in : thinking about a shot AND keeping the couple entertained. But, if you get them really into each other and to interact with each other it takes the focus a bit away from you so you can do your stuff while they are having fun amongst them
@Quentin true, especially for the ladies. Show them a really hot shot & they will instantly go at it again
@ Gabby I got the same problem, it’s not so much “forgetting to speak” as not spending a great deal of thought to what I say
I’m so caught up in the rush of taking photographs that I can’t seem to be able to make a decent conversation. This is not a problem if you’re working with a experienced model, as he/she only needs a few pointers before they move on their own, but when you’re working with anyone else, this can be quite a problem 
@ Pieter I got a session coming up with a young couple (friend of a friend - so I don’t really know them) and I’m thinking about how I’m gonna approach this. Do I rent a studio and go all out on props with only one or maybe two lighting setups, or do I go outside, on a nice location. IF I decide to go outside, will I use only ambient light? Or will I add flashes as I see necessary? My question to you (after this long intro) is as follows: If I go outside and I want to have starting positions for my lights (1 VIVITAR 285H & 1 Speedlight 430EX - both with Poverty Wizards and matching umbrella’s / stands), how would I place them so that I could get the best range of motion for my couple? Or would I just start out with ambient light and add lights later on?
A useful technique in getting them to tease each other is to have them lean in really close like they are about to kiss, lips almost touching (because let’s face it, most kisses look awkward in photos), but make sure you tell them NOT to kiss. The pictures turn out way sexier. And if they do kiss, I scold them for it, and it lightens the mood even more.
Great post!!! i cant wait for the part II
Happy shooting!
[...] the end of my first article, we arrived at a point where the couple is more relaxed and no longer constantly looking into the [...]
Hey Pieter,
Great article (as always off course)
This particular part of your column is what I believe one of the most important ingredients: ‘This is where your charming, funny, communicative personality comes into play!’ and also ‘Make sure they look more at each other than at you.’
It works for me all the time and as you say; ‘most people hate to pose’ so my believe is also to not let them pose but play around.
Sometimes I use tricks to get them going like little instructions like; ‘whisper something in each other ears about what you want to do tonight’ Most of the time it is a very pleasing and laughing scene but that can be a point where the couple starts moving and interacting like the should.
Also I believe in distance. I also work most of the time with a 70-200 and it gives the couple space for intimaty and that works great in most cases. Try to keep some distance like you want to make a photo of a couple of births. As photographer there are moments you wish the forgot you.
I’m totally agreed with you that photo’s without looking into the lens are most of the time the most beautiful because it starts with a ‘unposed’ spice on a blank photo.
Again,
Great story and very helpful knowledge
Great article as usual.
In my (limited) ecperience I find that letting the person/couple handle the camera and lense while I’m setting up helps to break the barriers between them and me.
I’ll set up and take some “test shots”…. just to check the lighting and colour balange of course ;o)
These usually turn out fantastic as they’re not posing and think I’m just calibrating the camera before the ‘real’ pictures get taken.
I’ll show them these and they immediately relax as they know they’re in safe hands
If things get a bit stale or awkward I’ll take some 14mm shots of them up close and pulling goofy faces…. then show them.
Always a tension breaker.
Switch to a normal lense then show them hot shots every few minutes to keep them motivated
CW
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